There Will Be Miracles

I’ve NEVER been one for having faith and usually “hmff” and roll my eyes to myself when people tell me to have it.  It’s just never really meant anything to me and you tend to loose any faith you do have anyway after dealing with personal struggles like having trouble trying to start a family.  Hearing those words is the last thing that makes us feel better.  BUT, I’m learning that even if you think you’ve got no faith left something is still working for you somewhere and somehow.

There’s no other way to explain why the best thing to happen to us happened less than a month after the worst thing to happen to us did.

Beach pregnancy announcement with driftwood sign

 

After the nightmare that was last May, I never thought I’d be writing this post just six months later.  When I wrote that post back in July, I was only about seven weeks along and absolutely terrified.  Given our journey, I’ve become accustomed to receiving bad news.  So through this whole pregnancy I’ve been on edge that something bad is going to happen and I’m pretty sure it’s not going to change until we have that little baby in our arms.  Only our closest friends and family knew until we fully announced around 19 weeks.  Anyone who has been through the trying-to-conceive journey for any amount of time quickly learns of the agonizing “two week wait” before they take a test each month and also quickly learns of the frequent let downs and losses.  I always thought that as soon as I had that positive test and a little heartbeat on the sono that we’d be past that worrisome agonizing and waiting.  NOPE!!  Little did I know but pregnancy is really just a nine month “two week wait” and even after having a miraculous and healthy little being growing inside right where it was supposed to be this time, I still couldn’t shake that something would go wrong.   It hasn’t been complete smooth sailing these five months, but the baby has been completely healthy the whole time and is doing GREAT. With each day, tumble, and kick that goes by I feel *slightly* better.

And now, all of a sudden, we’re 19 weeks away from actually meeting that determined little miracle that brought us out of our darkest days.  We’ve never been so thankful.

I’m so excited that all of you are on this journey with us so here’s to the first monthly “bumpdate”!!

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Bumpdate #1

How far along?
21 weeks 1 day
due date is March 15, 2017

Gender & Name?
We’ve decided not to find out the gender before delivery and keep it a surprise.  I used to be picky about wanting a boy or a girl but after everything we’re just happy to have a healthy baby so either one will be exciting.  Plus it’s pretty awesome to see people’s shocked reaction when they ask what we’re having :)  We totally almost caved yesterday at our anatomy scan but held strong!
We have some possibilities for names but won’t be sharing those until delivery either.  Right now it goes by Seahorse because Matt said it looked like a seahorse on our 7w ultrasound and it just kind of stuck :)

Current Feelings
Other than starting to feel stretched out and a little more uncomfortable, everything physically is good.  I’ve been dealing with almost daily headaches for the last month which I’m getting pretty tired of.  I can’t tell what brings them on, it’s not lack of water, sleep, or food and they happen at all times of day.  Tylenol sometimes helps but I try not to take it each time since they’re so common, same with having a little bit of caffeine.  So usually I just live with them and stay or go home if it’s bad enough.

Nursery
I just recently felt ready to start thinking about the nursery and am really excited to get started now.  Unfortunately our house is pretty small so we’re going to have to change the office into the guest room and the guest room into the nursery.  That room is behind our courtyard wall so I feel safer having it there, plus that means the nursery will have our beloved gray shiplap wall which is going to be fun.  Stay tuned for a full nursery series over the next few months, but peek at my nursery Pinterest board for what I’m thinking of!!

Maternity clothes?
Sometimes. I can still get away with wearing my normal jeans unzipped with a Bellaband over them but it’s starting to get uncomfortable especially sitting at a desk all day.  I’ve found some cute maternity tops and am currently maternity jeans shopping but it’s proving to be as frustrating as normal jeans shopping.  Thank goodness Stitch Fix has maternity clothes and I recently found Pink Blush which has gorgeous clothes!

Sleep
Not too bad, although it’s changed in the last week.  I’ve always been a side sleeper so that’s good but I am changing sides A LOT lately and getting super hot.  I’m most comfortable with a blanket smooshed up under my belly and between my knees for support but it may be time to switch out the blanket to a cooler body pillow option, or crank the AC down some.

Food cravings
Nothing crazy or consistent, it seems to change each week.  One thing I’ve loved this whole pregnancy are sour gummy candies, tangarines, and plums.  Oh, and anything that comes in the form of a one-pan slop-style dish, like mac ‘n cheese (always), Italian dishes, noodles, and casseroles.  I’m eating pretty healthy during the week for breakfast and lunch but the weekends can kind of get away from me.  I’ve only gained four pounds, almost one of which is baby, so I’m doing good so far…

Nausea
I never actually got sick, but I had afternoon and/or all day nausea from about 8 weeks all the way to 17-ish.  It felt like having an all day hangover and I wished I would just get sick, but I didn’t let myself because I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop.  Lots of 7up, crackers, tiny meals, and afternoons home on the couch.  The pineapple and papaya enzyme tablets from Trader Joe’s helped a lot though, more than anything else I tried.  Now I just feel kind of crappy if I eat too much, which is getting easier to do :/

Total weight gain
Only 4 pounds so far.  I’ve been in “trouble” with my doc the last two appointments because I hadn’t gained anything.  Now that the nausea is gone, it’s on!

Movement
YES!!  This point meant so much for me to get to because the worry and anxiety between appointments was killing me, and, just like a switch, between 17-18 weeks there it was!  It started out feeling like a muscle twitch (not like a flutter or butterflies) but then clearly became rolls and thuds.  I feel it most when I wake up and am lying there, around lunch time, and later in the evenings when I’m laying on the couch.  Matt finally felt one just a few days ago and loves it.

Belly button in or out?
In, although it is getting MUCH shallower…

Best moment lately
Definitely having Matt feel movement, and seeing an actual little human on our anatomy scan yesterday!  Baby is 14oz and gave us two yawns during the scan along with some perfectly poised little feet.  I knew what they check for during this scan but it’s amazing how clearly you can see everything, and I can’t believe that little perfect thing is inside of me.

Looking forward to
Our next sonogram at 28 weeks so that we can see it again, and also to make sure the slight placenta previa they found yesterday is moving out of the way.  Oh, and getting the guest room cleared out so I can start the nursery!


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I’m sure some of you sweet, loyal readers may have noticed things being a little more quiet around here the last few months and probably assumed that this may be the reason why.  I just couldn’t get myself to do a single thing through all that nausea but it feels great to be back in (relative) action and even greater to now have y’all alongside for all the fun things ahead.

I seriously still can’t thank you all enough for your kind words back in May and for being here with me now.  We still have so much love and admiration for all of you who are struggling and never will we forget that journey.  I can’t describe how badly I am rooting for all of you and for you to never lose faith, whether you believe in it or not!  We’re here to say that you truly never know what to expect and that miracles can absolutely happen after all, especially when you least expect it.

 

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20 thoughts on “There Will Be Miracles

  1. So happy for you guys! The waiting game is so hard but feeling those tiny movements is the best ad such a reassurance! Can’t wait to see your plans for the nursery! Xo

  2. So excited for you!! Congrats.

  3. Glad to know Seahorse finally decided to “play” with daddy Matt too! What fun to feel your little one moving and “swimming” about:) So happy for all three of you — all three!!

  4. Oh Emily! How very exciting! Thank you for sharing with us. We didn’t find out gender with our first and can honestly say when ultrasound with #2 revealed it accidentally, it really spoiled delivery day in comparison! God be with you and Matt!

  5. Emily,
    I am so excited for you. I can completely relate about the “2 week -9month wait” (I had a really bad scare with my first son and was so nervous the entire pregnancy). Hang in there mama. It is the most amazing feeling when you get to hold your little one in your arms for the first time.

    I also just wanted to say thank you. I just celebrated my blog’s first anniversary and I wanted you to know how much I appreciate how helpful you have been. You took me under your wing and directed me to so many useful resources. I would have been lost without you.

    You are beautiful inside and out and I am so happy you get to experience the amazing journey of motherhood. It is the best.

    Much Love,
    Erica

    1. You are so, so sweet Erica, thank you! And happy blogiversary!! You have done AWESOME and I’m so happy we’ve “met” through here…very proud of you friend!

  6. I am so excited for all of you! We struggled to get pregnant (3 years) and it was agonizing each month. I became a great aunt twice before having our first. That was really difficult. But the wait was so worth it. Congratulations and I wish you the best rest of your pregnancy!

  7. First time read Emily and I love hearing about your little miracle. Pregnancy is so tender and amazing. I’m so happy that you two can experience this joy together. I’m so sorry that you had to experience pain and loss though.
    I think being surprised will be so much fun. Blessed baby. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

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